Missing Mom

Featured / Katie Wigington / Leave a comment

Today is the 40th anniversary of my mom’s death. I can’t believe it’s been 40 years. Sometimes, it seems like yesterday. 

I was 7 months pregnant, at home in San Francisco, on bedrest with high BP. I had been to see my mom two days before. They decided to put a pacemaker in her heart, and she never woke up. My Uncle Carl called me from the hospital. “You better get here, your mom don’t look so great.”  I called my sister Linda. I couldn’t get there. And a couple hours later, someone called to tell me she died. I can’t remember who. She was 53. 

The situation that led to my mom’s illness and subsequent death was a broken heart. First, she lost her only son, Johnny. Then, while searching for his baby girl all over Northern California, she fell ill. She was run down, exhausted, and broken-hearted. 

Her last words to me were, “Did you find the baby?”  Mine to her were, “No, but I will.”

My mom was a complex woman—a beautiful mess. She loved hard. She fought demons her whole life and occasionally lost. She had an amazing laugh, a dazzling smile, a quick wit, flawless skin, and an abundance of wavy hair. Her nieces and nephews adored her. Those of us who lived with her less so. But still, we did love her.

She actually had a Certificate of Sanity from Napa State Hospital, earned after 2 months of Electric Shock Therapy treatments. It took a while to bounce back from that. The vacant stare, the less witty version of Beverly came home, but she had her damn certificate.  

She had a temper. She was a great cook. She loved to dance. She had great legs (though she was only 5’2” tall.)  She had a beautiful voice. She could lift anything with her toes. She loved yellow cars and driving fast. Her poison was men. She was frequently depressed. 

She loved her kids. She loved her family. 

I found the baby with the help of a friend. She helped heal our hearts. Still, to this day, she brings us joy. My mom has missed the best part. Grandkids, great grandkids and now great-great grandkids. 

40 years gone in a blink. I am now 20 years older than my mom when she died. But I see her in my family little bits here and there. Her laugh, her love of music, her crazy thick hair, her big brown eyes, her cooking talent, and that quick wit! 

Rest in Peace Mom

Featured

Bad Moms

Featured / Katie Wigington / Leave a comment

This is for you bad moms.

You know who you are.  The ones that sleep in every now and then, and forget to feed the kids (who could feed themselves but don’t because they are so used to you doing it.) The moms that get an occasional babysitter to go party with the girls, or the moms who don’t iron, make beds daily or read to the kids at night after a 9-hour shift somewhere doing something hard or shitty or both. The moms who have dug dirty clothes out of the pile so the kids would have clothes for school. The moms who worry incessantly and hover- yeah you! The moms who eat the last school snacks (for dinner) and give the kids a carrot for snack. And you moms that trick your kids into doing stuff like empty a garbage … you are the worst! Oh, wait maybe the lying mom who promises to not eat the churro and then does… (that is me) also the worst. 

Being a bad mom gets so much easier as they age. The snooping mom, (he is acting weird)  the diary reader, (she’s up to something )  the piggy bank thief, ( for groceries I swear!) all these are despicable acts, shame on you moms.

And you moms who call the hospital, the CHP, and every friend of their offspring they know of, 15 minutes after curfew, how embarrassing are you?

You moms who try to cut the cord a bit at 18. HA! Real nice. You moms that snoop all over Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok, trying to find out what your kid is up to–let it go – that is bad mom stuff!  (don’t worry they have one identity for you and another for friends.)

And you moms, who insist on trying to help or guide or bail out or finance your older children … good lord. That is so bad!

You moms who honestly tell your kids when they look like crap, or need a shower, or a haircut or a toothbrush… my God what must those poor kids suffer to live with you. Can’t you just be nice?

Who knew so many of us would grow up to be bad parents?  I remember thinking I’ll do better than my mom, (who had me tell a lie to sister Mary Patrick on my First Holy Communion because she overslept!). I’m not better. Possibly worse.

You Moms…

Have a Happy Mother’s Day!

In memory of my less-than-perfect mom, Beverly Arietta

Adios 2023 and Hello 2024

/ Katie Wigington / Leave a comment

Everyone gets a clean slate.

That’s how I’d like to start 2024. It’s so easy to drag all the old bullshit around into the new year but let me tell you at almost 72 that shit gets heavy. Real heavy. And some of it – we’ve even forgotten what we were mad or sad about.

While 2023 was a good year for me professionally, and personally (like most people my age) I lost some loved ones, my energy level has tanked, my hearing is worse (gone) my tolerance for BS is just about nil, and oddly my patience with the very young and the very old is a bit better. (though the middle not so much). 

I appreciate my friends and family more – those still with us and those who have departed. I love my family harder – trying not to smother mother /grandmother everyone, though. 

My anxiety regarding car accidents, freak accidents (trees falling on people, giant pinecones (widow makers) falling on a head and killing someone, pedestrian disasters (I tie stranger’s shoes at the grocery store) … etc., etc.) are alive and well but I’m learning to keep it to myself – most of the time.  My catastrophic thinking has probably driven others to catastrophes. There is medication for this but, I digress. 

2023 was year of ups and downs and some emotional turmoil. Old stuff that followed me around year after year, always tugging at me, always reminding me to guard my heart, keep my distance— that stuff needs to go now.  I’m tired of it.  Any old or newish grudges and resentments are out the door, and if anyone has some 50-plus-year-old grievance with me, let it go, because I don’t care anymore. (that actually happened in 2023).

I want to be less judgmental and critical and more forgiving. (that might take some work) I want to be more appreciative of the people in my life. I want to be more trusting. 

And I want to be easier on myself. I have worked since I was 16 with very few breaks – sometimes three jobs and always at a ridiculous pace. 2024, I’m going to be working a little differently. 

I have no idea what 2024 will bring. Whatever it throws at me, I hope I can handle it with grace.

On a National/Global level—I am fighting for and supporting democracy—I hope you are too. Complacency is not an option. Hope is mandatory.

There is always hope ❤️

This Blue Robe

/ Katie Wigington / Leave a comment

Is hanging outside my bathroom door and it’s the first thing I see when I open my eyes in the morning and the last thing I see at night. It’s my daily reminder to find the beauty. And that life is short. And sometimes cruel. But also beautiful.

This blue robe was my last birthday gift from Renee. It’s identical to her own that she said she wore when lounging around or cleaning house. It never fit but I didn’t have the heart to tell her. And I didn’t have the heart to tell her I don’t lounge, and I clean at a feverish pace involving some form of gymnastics that requires pants and tops and shoes. That was February – she was gone in June. Gone to the great beyond. Gone from her husband and sons. Gone before her time. Before we were ready. But she was ready – she did her very best to hang on. She assured me on our last visit “it’s okay, Katie.” Words I didn’t agree with but for once didn’t argue. I knew in my heart she was right. She was tired.

This blue robe is my reminder to be a better friend. To tell my friends I love them. To make them laugh and hand them Kleenex if they need to have a cry. To hold them up if they are unsteady on their feet and just be there. I’m the kind that needs a reminder. My ability to keep moving forward is fueled by my ability to put blinders on and only look at what’s in front of me. In front of me now. One blue robe. 💔

Racism, Trump and Me

/ Katie Wigington / Leave a comment

Upside-down-US-flag-of-occupation

Perhaps I have angered you lately—with my pro protest posts.

I have listened to rhetoric and propaganda from both sides of the political spectrum. I have seen numerous people say their opinions should be respected. Well, no that’s not how it works. I respect your right to an opinion. There is no doubt about that. But to respect opinions that go against my own ethics would be ludicrous.  Especially if your opinion is not fact-based or based on hate.

I try to keep it real. I try to do my homework before I spout off about anything, but particularly politics. I have numerous friends much more left-wing than myself that I don’t always agree with and will say so. I’m generally not a demonizer, nor, do I put people on pedestals. I have no idols, just a few people I admire. I try not to hate.

The last election drove a huge wedge between me and the people I know, including some of my own family, who voted for Trump. (and perhaps they feel the same about my vote for Clinton.)

For me, it was an easy vote. I didn’t struggle with who was the better candidate. I never gave Bernie with his pointing finger and spittle mouth a second thought. I listened to what the GOP candidates had to say- and rejected them based on my own understanding of right and wrong. I watched every debate, I watched every news channel, (although admit that Fox gives me a migraine). I read every article- even the fake news ones. I researched. I watched 90% of the 11 hour Clinton interrogation in the Senate Hearing. (and frankly, I would have told them to go fuck themselves about hour 4.)

I know about Benghazi; I am a military mom. I don’t know – for the life of me- how you can blame the Secretary of State for those deaths, and not blame Bush/Cheney for the deaths of 5000+ troops in Iraq & Afghanistan based on lies. It makes no sense.

Afghanistan War 2001–present 1,954*
Iraq War 2003–2011 3,836*

*Source Wikipedia

And now… the Trump administration is using private email servers … so much for that issue. The corruption from this administration has put anything the Clinton’s ever did to shame. If you can’t see it… you aren’t looking.

I have watched this president (not capped on purpose) denigrate everyone that disagrees with him about anything. He is petty – like I knew he would be. He is knee jerk, he lacks depth, he seriously lacks empathy, he lacks historical facts, he lacks global knowledge, he lacks etiquette, he lacks vocabulary, he has made a fool of himself to the world with every single meeting he has with heads of states. He forgets their names, their titles, and admires thugs and murderers like Putin and Duterte. He is a global joke. He undermines his own cabinet. He insults women on a regular basis.  He always reminds me of the man that tried to put my head through a window when I wouldn’t serve him any more alcohol. He’s a spoiled, rich white guy that no one dare say no to. I have no doubt he has forced himself on women – I have met men like him.  But still, to me – his worst thing is that he is stupid. And by stupid I mean he lacks intelligence. He is not a reader – despite the pictures of his desk with reams of paper—he has lacked a complete understanding of the law. (Which by the way the rule of law is the backbone of our country.) He is not a successful businessman- he has stiffed so many people that he might as well have held a gun to them and stolen the money he owes. Yet people chose to overlook these character traits and voted for him.

And some people think he hung the moon. Some people have put their own morals aside (or maybe not) and decided that this man would do a good job. But has he?  Not by my standards.

So far he has tried to take medical insurance away from 20+ million people  (including many vets not covered by the VA) and sabotaged the market so that either way the American Health Insurance markets are screwed. Obama care or no Obama care – Health insurance is going to be unaffordable for most. And Medicare – that which those of us 65 and over-rely on – is in jeopardy as well. He would like to raise the taxes on middle class and cut the taxes for the very wealthy (proven to not work theory by top economists.)  He has created travel bans that are race/religion based (illegal) halted by the courts. He has rescinded DACA causing 15 States to sue the administration as well as 4 other lawsuits in a matter of 3 weeks. DACA Lawsuits

He has made legal immigration so difficult that it will probably lead to more illegal immigration.

He has loosened sanctions on EPA and National Monuments. He has pulled out of the Paris Accord- (then like a slippery dick, slid back in.) He has effectively dismantled just about any progress Obama made in his 8 years in office.

The article below by the BBC sums up this administrations successes and failures thus far. It’s not a great report card.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-38663043

Trump’s support (as seen by lack of disdain and/or some respect) of White Supremacism/ Nazism was not a surprise to me- but what did surprise me was how many people were silent on the matter. (but some quite vocal about Black Lives Matter.) Afraid to speak out perhaps? Afraid to be political?  Afraid to make enemies of the true enemy of America?  Or was it because they held those same beliefs?

I have been arguing with people for 2 weeks about NFL and taking a knee issue and I am done. People will believe what they want to believe. No amount of logic and /or facts will change the will of some people. They want to be where they want to be. I see that as narrow-minded. Perhaps they see me the same way. Eventually, the facts will prevail.

And from BLM’s and Colin Kaepernick taking a knee- and trumps tweetstorm shit-show about the NFL when Puerto Rico is dying was just about the final straw for me. An insult to the flag and the troops and the anthem– not at all. I know this country is split in half about this – most of the veterans I know personally say they fought for this right (to protest) even if they don’t agree with it. When a silent protest is seen as unpatriotic I have to wonder what kind of protest is okay with you?

You want to know the real insult to the troops? Wars for no reason. The killing of 18–30-year-old people in the name of a war that has only made the issue of terrorism worse. We (the US) have effectively insured the terrorist of the future are the orphaned and homeless of the war-torn countries of today. We have a country full of veterans from wars since Vietnam until today with PTS due in large part to the fact they realized it was all for nothing, that they were killing people that wanted the same things we want- food, shelter, education, good health, and their children to be safe.

Another insult to the flag and patriotism is the heinous racism in our country. I have always been painfully aware of racism but lately it’s so overt I don’t know how anyone can deny it’s happening – and yet they do. Under trumps leadership (for lack of a better word) it has become okay to hate people of color. Newsflash folks – it’s not okay. The so-called “race card” is a misnomer. The “card” is issued by white people to denigrate blacks even further—the card is used by whites when they don’t have the intelligence to have a real conversation about race. The race card – is a term invented by whites who hate blacks.

If you wonder why I am writing about all this now- it’s because these thoughts eat me alive until I spit them out, because I can’t sleep thinking about this—and because I want to make sure that it’s clear that I have not come to these conclusions lightly- but not with great difficulty either. My core values have led the way.

My core values consist of equality, truth, and belief in humanity. The latter isn’t always easy for me–humanity lets me down on a regular basis, yet I continue to hope – and sometimes I see hope prevail. Recently someone asked me if I ever lose hope… I can honestly say that I have- but not for long. I lost hope this last election – for weeks I was depressed, angry, tearful and fearful. It was a blow I was not prepared to handle. I had to vow to myself to make sure that I leave my son and grandson a legacy they can be proud of to restore my positive energy  (hope) so that I am able to fight racism, hatred, fascism and all things intolerable to our Constitution as Americans and humanity in general. I don’t have much to leave anyone, just an abundance of tenacity and some words that tell the story of who I am. Who I hope to be.

I really don’t care if I am alone in the fight- though I know I am not and grateful for that. And I don’t think that everyone I know has to think the way I think – but some basics are a must. I will not tolerate racism—just like I will not tolerate rapists, murderers and child molesters. They are all the same category to me—unacceptable. If your racism is showing I am going to call you on it. I won’t be a coward and look the other way. I won’t worry about hurting feelings or losing a friendship. No one should allow that kind of behavior – as long as we do it will prevail.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Over the Moon

/ Katie Wigington / Leave a comment

image1

I have not been the best friend, or sister, auntie or neighbor lately. I have done that thing all women do when they fall in love – they drop off the face of the Earth and forget about all the other people that love them – and that they love.

I haven’t forgotten actually—but I can say this. I am in love. I am head over heels in love with my little man. I thought it was impossible to love him more than I already did—but nothing is better than a baby hug, or a baby kiss. Or hearing, “Oh, Nonnie”, when we are at the grocery store and he sees something he wants. “Oh, Nonnie!”

Sometimes, he gives me a kiss without me asking. Can you think of anything better?

I have managed to ignore most of the horrible news, and depend on a few astute friends to keep me posted on the State of the Union and various foreign interests—but if I miss a day, I’m not jonesing.

My stress is currently managed by looking into the face of my little love. Or playing Legos, or watching Minions, or Elmo, or Paw Patrol.

In the early hours of the morning, my little love comes to sleep in my bed. He curls up to me and the dog in turn, curls up to him.

My little house is filled with love right now. And while my heart has a giant hole where my son should be, I am so happy to have my little man and his mama there to make my house feel like a home.

I hope my friends and family can forgive me for not jumping on any bandwagons right now. I don’t have the heart to fight that idiot in the White House, or the dozens of laws that may even eventually affect them or me. I don’t want to spend one minute of energy on something that would take me away from this amazing joy.

I wake up early every day so I can have some time with my little guy before I leave for work. And I look forward to weekends like I never have before.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tired, I’m adjusting though and I have the benefit of his mama being right there—and that leads me to this—Moms deserve more credit. That is the hardest job on Earth. You can’t just take a nap when you need one, your sleep is broken for years, you must constantly entertain, watch and reprimand without scarring their little souls. In order to grow them into nice little people you must let them fall and skin their knees occasionally. You want to protect but not break their spirit- and my little love has an amazing spirit! But his mom must be hyper-vigilant to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself climbing every mountain he finds.

I love my little monkey- and I am going to try to stay alive a long time so I can help his mama when possible and I can watch him grow into the wonderful man I know he will be.

Starting Over

/ Katie Wigington / Leave a comment

I decided it’s time to get back to writing. It’s always been my passion but the last few years have kicked my antique fanny all over the place and writing fell to the bottom of the list. I’ve imported my old blog but look for something new soon.

Betrayal

/ Katie Wigington / Leave a comment
I’ve had a lot of betrayal in my life— and I suppose I have committed my share of betrayal too. It’s an end of the world feeling if you’re on the receiving end. You think to yourself you will never be the same and how can I go on? But we do.
The worst betrayal in the world is not your spouse or lover cheating on you, or a good friend sleeping with your husband or wife… the worst betrayal is when your own country betrays you. Since the election of Donald Trump, I have felt a deep betrayal. And yes – life will go on. Not like before though. Not for me.
This country has turned its collective back on everything good about it – and jumped into the cesspool with the Machiavellian Trump. The people that chose to believe Trump’s nonsensical blabbering about everything– over the 30 years of cleared investigationsinto Hillary Clinton’s life—both public and private, betrayed their own country.
His appointees tell the whole story. Mirroring himself, he’s appointed people that are racists, bigots and in fact, fascists. The neo-Nazi idolize Trump because he basically made it okay to for them to hate blacks, Mexican’s, Muslims, Jews, LGBT, and pretty much anyone that is not of white Anglo-Saxon origin, and made it okay to commit crimes against these people.
His appointees want to take the great open lands of this country and destroy them for profit.  (Mostly oil, coal and construction.)
His appointees want to dismantle the education system so the poor and marginalized will truly have no chance.
His appointees want to end the ACA, Medicare, and Social Security. (That would include your disability checks for those of you collecting.)
His appointees think it’s okay to torture the enemy even though the most knowledgeable generals say it does not work.
His appointees want give massive tax benefits to the top 1% — and almost nothing to the middle class. Let them eat cake.
His appointees collective experience in the fields they are being chosen for is almost nil.
One (or more) of his appointees is mentally ill.
Donald Trump has no regard for women—he is, in fact the purest definition of a misogynist.
He is a bully; he is a spoiled, rich asshole. He is the kind of guy that makes waiters want to spit in his food. He may not drink, but he has all the earmarks of an abusive alcoholic—right down to the memory impairments and the inability to own his shortcomings.
Donald Trump has mentioned detention camps for Muslims, and mass deportations. Of course he’s back peddled because someone probably told him that would be against the law. I’m sure though, they advised him to change the law first.
He does not comprehend the Constitution of the United States, the Bill of Rights,  the Articles of War and the myriad of active treaties we have with other nations and what ending them would mean.
Donald Trump is a professional bull-shitter. He duped half the country into thinking he’s smart, when clearly he is learning impaired at the least, and downright stupid at most. He is a pathological liar—and I have experience with that personality type and I can tell you my alarms went off with Donald Trump in 2004 when he had that ridiculous television show. It took me maybe a minute to size him up. Maybe less.
I can’t turn off my ideologies to make peace with the less than half of the country that voted for him. I can’t make myself respect the thought process that led some to believe fake news and a big bag of wind. I cannot and will not support a racist, misogynist, a con artist, a fraud, and possibly a rapist.
He has aligned himself with the American Taliban – and the White Nationalist Nazi Party, elite right wing billionaires and Vladimir Putin.  He is by all definitions a fascist. And if news reporters would do their job, I’m sure someone could dig up something heinous in his past– or present.
I can’t force myself to say it’s just 4 years because it will take 20 years to unfuck everything he and his team of pond scum destroy. I don’t think he will make it one year – I think he will be impeached. But that leaves us with a disgusting man who made the women in his state look at scans of their dead babies and have funerals for their miscarriages and abortions. That is not Christian by the way—that is cruel and unusual and more in keeping the with Sharia Law. And by the way– why is he trying to keep his emails secret?
The personal betrayal to me is nothing compared to the far reaching and over-all effect this presidency will have on the world. It’s already caused fear, the likes of which has not been seen since Hitler started his movement to ethnically cleanse Germany. The whole world is watching– and America just blinked.
We are a Nation of Freedom. We are a Nation of Laws. We are the Nation of Hope that we share world-wide.Until now, other nations took their lead from us.These are the ideals our troops have fought and died for…they didn’t sacrifice their lives, lose limbs, sight, sound and for many their ability to live any kind of normal life, so that the rich could get richer. Now we are showing the world the worst side of us… and what happens when capitalism is controlled by just a few elite and not the people.
We are the home to Lady Liberty at whose feet Emma Lazarus’ poem boldly states:
 
The New Colossus
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”  
This is the one betrayal in my life I don’t think I’ll forget. I may move on (to protest) – but I will never forget. History will never forget.

 

Finding HOPE in a Depressed State of Affairs

/ Katie Wigington / Leave a comment
HOPE

Almost every morning, before my eyes are opened or my hearing aids are in, I can hear the ding from my phone alerting me to a message from my grandsons mom. She sends me pictures of him almost every day—and so I wake up filled with joy and love of life. I see his little face and his beautiful eyes and amazing, almost always smile and I melt. I’m a proud Nonnie, to be sure. But I also count my blessings. I’m lucky to have his mom. We’ve grown close these last 2 years and she checks on me as much as I check on her and the baby.

Every day, as I look at the pictures of the baby I feel peace and happiness. Even though I can’t hug and kiss my little guy, I am happy to see his pictures and have an occasional Facetime kiss. By bedtime though, my whole body hurts—including my heart. Sometimes I get a night time picture too- and that is the best medicine of all.

 
Lately my days don’t stay happy. Besides my own heartbreak of not seeing my son or knowing where he is or how he’s doing, which leaves a giant hole in my heart—I won’t lie about that—besides that, the daily news wears me out. The daily insanity of Donald Trump, the daily killings of black people, the daily killings of police, the 22 veteran suicides a day, the daily killings of children by their parents (or with their parent’s weapons). The daily racism, the daily homeless issues, the daily wars in the Middle East and Africa. More than 140,000 people, over 7,000 of them children, have been killed in Syria’s uprising-turned-civil war. How is that okay? There’s more- I just can’t get it all out with causing my head to explode.

The daily commentaries from the morons of America – spewing more hatred than I can imagine—that stuff has worn me out. The lack of basic knowledge of the US Constitution, the Bill of Rights; basic US History, not to mention World History, all make a nice setting for Donald Trump – he plays to that audience. He knows they won’t pick up a book and check anything. Oh, maybe they’ll google – that’s his source too.

Of course, I have to hang in there. People need me, I have a job to do, I have a couple of jobs, a house to sell, ads to get out every day, I don’t have the luxury of drinking my problems away, or going to bed for a month, I have to remain present and be able to function—knowing I can’t help anyone if I don’t take care of myself. But, I am tired lately.

I am tired of arguing with people about politics. I am tired of trying to make an ignorant nation wake the fuck up and see Donald Trump for the fraud that he is. He’s a misogynist, a racist, a bigot and frankly – his biggest fault in my book—he is stupid, and too stupid to know it. You can be all those other things and learn different—but he is not teachable. His narcissistic personality disorder assures us of that. Oh, and he has NO VALUES. None- nada. Why can’t people see that? 

He would start more wars that we can’t finish. He would send more young men to war who, if lucky enough to come home alive – may commit suicide in the next 10 years. He wants to save money by ending military bureaucracy before he even knows what that bureaucracy is for. He does not understand the military at all. And oh- by the way—the Generals for Trump- none of the signatories of that letter was a service chief or led a major combat command. They were (all retired) the bureaucratic, pencil pushers who we taxpayers now support.

I’m kept going by that baby and his mom. I’m kept going by a few friends that understand the pain of not being able to help my son—or see him or hear his voice. I’m grateful he is not one of the 22. That’s what I hang on to—that and the hope I can make a difference for future troops and future veterans, and sufferers of combat PTSD. I’m kept going by a few friends that have shared my joy of being a Nonnie – albeit long distance. I’m kept going by amazing friends and family who love me. I’m kept going by beauty and art and my dog, Toshi. I am kept going by my never give up, stubborn, personality that compels me to get up every day and keep putting one foot in front of the other, no matter what. I hold back tears, and push through the pain so I can be there for those who rely on me—and even those who don’t. I want to be there for people in worse shape than me, people who stay quiet in their pain while it chips away at their soul. For people who have lost much more than me. And for the people that have always been there for me. That is my goal.

I hope when this election is over – some of the hatred will subside. I suspect it will linger though, no matter who wins. Donald Trump revealed a lot about this great nation –  that it’s full of racist and bigots—and many of them are gunslingers. If he does not win- he will call upon them – I’m just guessing of course. Let’s hope I’m wrong — but let’s hope he does not win. 

I am kept going because I want to see Hillary become President– no matter what, that is a vote I intend to make. 

 


 


Why I’m Voting for Hillary Clinton

/ Katie Wigington / Leave a comment

I’m not sure if I can write about the upcoming Presidential Race without offending someone, but I hope I don’t. The mention of Donald Trump sends my hackles up – and maybe the mention of Hillary Clinton sends your hackles up. So – I’m going to try to explain – much like I did when I decided to vote for President Obama in 2012, why. I don’t expect to change one mind- so this is not a debate- this is me- sharing my logic.
The divisiveness is enough for me. It’s not like I can’t see Hillary’s faults. She’s a Pitbull. If you get to close too her face she may bite you. Then say it’s your fault – but, if we are honest here – if you get too close to a Pitbull and it bites you it IS your fault.
She has been investigated for everything under the sun – and yet never indicted for anything. The emails… are a stupid witch hunt. Colin Powell, Condi Rice’s staff used personal severs, and LATER the emails were deemed Secret or Top Secret but not at the time they were received or replied to – exactly the same as Hillary Clinton’s.
After 11 hours of grilling- of which I watched at least 10 hours of – I am convinced beyond a doubt that Hillary Clinton is not lying about Benghazi. If you are not convinced you might want to check your motives and re-watch the tape- if, indeed, you ever watched it. If you’re still not convinced, then nothing I say or do will change your mind – (and that’s fine).  
Republicans have been gunning for her as long as I can recall. When she was the First Lady and proposed a new health care system they came unglued. And she’s been in their sights ever since. (and was before – by simply being married to Bill Clinton)
She’s been called a liar, a murderer, a suicide facilitator. She’s been called a feminist, she’s been called anti-feminist, she’s been called about every name in the book – and honestly 8 years ago I did not vote for her. I was a one issue voter and because I was so afraid that the Democrats did not know how to run a war – I voted for John McCain (and I’m still embarrassed about that) – but the minute President Obama won- I got behind him. I hoped his lack of experience would be made up for with intellect – and the 2ndtime around I got behind him with my vote.
Since 2003, when my son joined the Marine Corps, I have come full circle. I started out a Democrat and here I am again. Because I wanted my son to be safe in a war zone – I wanted to make sure the tax dollars would not be taken away from him- (they were anyway) I wasn’t thinking down the line- I wasn’t thinking about the VA and its hurdles. I wasn’t thinking about other parts of government that could use some tax dollars- I was selfishly focused on my kid—and his buddies- and the sons and daughters of my friends. I went against my own intuition- and my son’s wishes.  
But even at my most “right” thinking – I have always at heart leaned left.  I lean left because I believe in humanity. I believe in helping others. I don’t think helping people hinders them. Otherwise we would call it hindering.  Here, let me hinder you with that door.
For me- still today Foreign Policy is a huge factor. I am convinced beyond a doubt that Donald Trump would lead us into a war bigger than we could handle – just to be able to say his hoo-hoo is bigger.
He is an unfiltered mouth unattached to a lame brain. I’ve heard that a number of military and military families are behind him- he seems to know the hot spots to get people fired up – like today, when he spoke about the VA and our veterans being treated – “worse that illegal immigrants.” (a total lie) I hear, because he speaks their language… but – is their language hate? Is their language more war? I find that hard to believe. Most of the families I know – are still trying to cope with the fallout from the Middle East wars. Most of the people I know would not wish another war on another mother or father. Not to mention all the spouses, and children. And sure the VA is a bit of a mess- it’s been broken since WW1 –it needs to be revamped 100%- but NOT privatized.
I think – the best gift we could give our veterans is no war. Imagine that. And for all the kids that are running to the recruiter’s office ready to go out and have a shootout, or save the world- go to the VA first – and take a look at what war does.
I’m not anti-Military – we need our military because we are the arbiters of peace around the world. Much to the chagrin of many- it’s who we are. We need our military because ISIL and the Taliban are not imaginary enemies. And that nut in North Korea needs constant monitoring.  But we need to be smart about it.  
I have seen, up close and very personal what war does to people; to our veterans, and their families. The invisible wounds are endless and relentless in their ability to decimate life. Some can’t recover. The real fatality numbers from OIF and OEF is much higher if you count the suicides during and after.
I am not an impressionable person- in fact, I have no super heroes. I have my son – who has been my hero since long before he became a Marine—because he saved my life. He’s not perfect either—far from it actually. I don’t expect people to be perfect. I do expect them to be as smart as they can be.
I honestly can’t get a handle on why people like Donald Trump. He’s crass, he’s a braggart, he’s horribly misinformed about history, the Constitution, the Senate, Congress and well, just about everything that involves the United States- not to mention Europe, Asia, the Middle East and outer space. He proposes things that could never happen—and he doesn’t even know why they could not.
He attracts the basest human beings. Anti- everything people. And then a handful of people that are worried about taxes- and I can tell you right now – most of them don’t make enough money to worry about it.  Maybe what he says about keeping Mexicans out, and keeping Muslims out is provocative to some people who have known no other cultures. I don’t know what to say to that since this is a global world in business and economy- and you can learn about any other culture by reading some books.
Hillary is not stupid. She’s had more hands on experience regarding running the United States of America than any other person running (and not running). She defends women’s rights, she is pro health care and will not pull the plug on ACA and turn our country into a laughing stock of the health care world. She’s not too shy to strike if a strike is needed – she’s no knee-jerk though. She won’t be challenging Putin to a “whose is bigger” contest. But she won’t back down from his rhetoric either.
And Bernie… I got nothing for Bernie – He does not have Foreign Policy experience. In my opinion he’s too old – he’s patriarchal—and I find that in itself annoying. Bernie has some good ideas, some not so great – and would never see the light of day.  I don’t think he’s the nominee- but he’ll go back to the Senate with more gravitas and do some good there – which frankly we really need him there.
Anyway –In case you have not guessed, I’m voting for Hillary. I think at 64 I will finally vote for a woman but not just because she’s a woman – but because she’s smart – my #1 requirement these days. She’s a mom and a grandmother, and she has been to every country in the world and she has mixed it up with some real bad asses and lived to tell the story. She knows some stuff and I am not embarrassed to vote for her.