My Manic 2015

It was a hard year and my best year too. A manic year really. My highest high and my lowest low came simultaneously. As one life was entering –another was slipping away, and I did a balancing act that would rival Philippe Petit, while helping others not fall off their rope. Take my hand. Take my hand. Take my hand.  

I felt completely alone, battling demons that were taking away the love of my life—the air in my lungs. And suddenly 30 or so of my best friends and family surrounded me, lifted me up and supported me through the following months, so I could help the people that needed me.
Then my light arrived. My little love arrived with healing powers, the likes of which are for fairytales only—not real life. Certainly not my life.

He arrived in the spring, bringing hope, like all new things in spring. A ray of light, a purpose, a cause to keep not just me moving forward but others too. More than a few of us needed him. I cried tears of joy and then set out to do the impossible—and did it with the help of my friends.
It’s always like this—every year, losses and gains. People pass away, babies are born. It’s the way of the world. But this year was different. It was a massive rescue mission, headed by old friends—some of whom are Marine Moms, others who have known me 40+ years and others who have known me fewer years, but immediately understood the urgency—the life or death of everything.
The best was going to Europe to meet my grandson thanks to my friends—and then having he and his mom stay with me for almost 3 months. No- wait. The best was my son coming back from the edge. Or maybe it was all of us together for the best Thanksgiving ever. Or maybe it was realizing what amazing friends and family I have. It’s hard to say what part of wonderful is the most wonderful.
I can say this, I am grateful.
Because I am so grateful, I plan on spending 2016 raising awareness for what I have deemed the crime of the century. PTS. Post-Traumatic Stress—specifically combat related.  And Veteran Suicide as a direct result of PTS and other injuries. If you follow me on Facebook you’ll see many posts from me regarding missing veterans, at risk veterans, homeless veterans, and their families and caretakers who suffer secondary PTS due to living in crisis mode 24/7.

I learned first hand in this last year that emotional support for families of veterans is crucial. I want all the families to be able to ask for help if they need it. Doing this alone should not even be an option.
Veteran issues are not and should never be viewed as political. We have an all-volunteer military from all walks of life, who have risked life and limb and a variety of illnesses, so we—civilians, didn’t have to go to war. We owe them. So, no matter what side of the political fence you are on—I hope you have an interest in helping me help them. If you can help spread needed information, and resources for vets and families—I will be forever grateful to you.
May the New Year bring us peace around the world. A lofty wish, I know. But if enough people really want that- it will happen. I learned this year—you can change the tide; you just need the right people to help you.
Below are some helpful links if you are in need of help. 

Creeping Democracy

Perhaps, I am connecting dots that aren’t there, but lately I’ve been thinking about the rise of democracy or semblance thereof, in the Middle East and Arab countries and wondering if maybe- just maybe, the small acts of kindness many of our troops have made towards the predominantly Muslim people in countries we have been at war – have actually had some impact on a world-wide basis.
It could be a mother’s wishful thinking. It could be that I would like to be able to say to my son- See? Look what you started when you asked me to send you medicine for the Iraqi kids. Look what happened when you helped the tribal, western Iraqi’s living on the Syrian border get rid of the gun smugglers and al qaeda thugs? And see? Candy and stuffed animals were a good idea too.
Maybe it’s not such a stretch though.
Here is an excerpt from an article written about Nick’s unit (3/4) and company (Kilo) in 2006.

Story by Cpl. Michael S. Cifuentes, Combat Correspondent
3rd Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment

http://www.marine-corps-news.com/2006/11/western_anbars_senior_marine_c.htm

Col. William B. Crowe and Sgt. Maj. Jimmy D. Mashburn spent Thanksgiving Day visiting the Marines of the southern Calif.-based 3rd Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment, who are based in outposts in the northwest region of Al Anbar Province, Iraq. 
They’re foremost message was simply “thank you for what you are doing for this region.”

“I know it’s tough being away from your homes and families” said Mashburn to a group of Marines with 3/4. “But, you are doing an outstanding job here and we’re watching you from afar in Al Asad. 

RCT-7 is the Coalition Forces unit responsible for providing security to more than 30,000 square miles in western Anbar, stretching from the Syrian and Jordan borders, east to the Euphrates River. 

The sergeant major and colonel are based at the regimental headquarters in Al Asad. 3rd Battalion is one of RCT-7’s subordinate units in western Al Anbar Province.

The battalion is three months into a seven month Iraq deployment. They are tasked with patrolling the streets of the many cities that lie along this Euphrates River region, just miles east of the Iraq-Syria border. The Marines here face threats such as small-arms fire and improvised explosive devices (IEDs) every day while operating in the region. 
The battalion also works with Iraqi soldiers and police, mentoring them so Iraqi Security Forces can eventually provide security to their own country.

“It’s good to see Marines with aggression and control,” said Mashburn. “You are allowing the Iraqi citizens to taste freedom more and more, and at the same time, keeping them safe from the insurgency.” 
Since ¾’s arrival here in September, the Marines have successfully disarmed IEDs, captured wanted individuals and found weapons caches in their area of operation.

“‘No better friend, no worse enemy” holds true with [you all],” said Mashburn, quoting the 1st Marine Division”s motto. 
Along with securing the streets from adversaries, the Marines here have built a good rapport with its civilians. Husaybah, a city that borders Syria and was the setting of Operation Steel Curtain – a 2005 operation which pitted U.S. Marines and local Iraqi tribesmen against hundreds of insurgents – now hosts a flow of business in its market street, clear of insurgent activity. 

“If we can maintain security of their streets, we will have their [local populaces] support,” said Cpl. Carl G. Williams, a squad leader with the battalion’s Kilo Company. “They want the insurgency out just as much as we do, so our relationship with them is more of a ‘business” relationship.”          
                                        

The Good Guys

I met Col. Crowe at homecoming and spoke to him and his wife while we were excitedly waiting for the buses of Marines coming home from Iraq, after what turned into an 8 month, not 7-month deployment. He reiterated to me the incredible job the ¾ did, making headway with the locals and securing what was once known as the wild west.

Since they were so close to Syria, maybe it’s not so far fetched to think that word could travel from one positively affected person to another. My son told me in Husaybah, there were people who intermarried with Syrian citizens, so I know word could spread family to family.  It would take a while, with no facebook or cell phones at hand. But it’s been almost five years since this article was written- more than enough time to spread the word.

I think what we have to remember is- that our brand of democracy may not work for them. But if they manage to shift some thinking and attain some understanding of human rights, maybe some middle ground will be okay for them.

Our country may have been founded on Christian doctrine, but their countries were not. In civilizations as old as these, I don’t think we can expect thinking to change drastically in 10 years or even 20. We can all see a chink in the fragile glass though.  I would really like to think that US troops (in spite of Abu  Ghraib which set us back at least two years) made a difference- and that all of  the families who have sacrificed loved one’s, and all the troops who have sacrificed body parts and mental health, can look back on this time and see that what they did has made a difference and will continue to make a difference as long as the US supports freedom with the right mix of “aggression and control.”
 

Afghanistan will be a harder nut to crack. It faces warring tribes, corrupt government, and distrust of everyone, a strong Taliban influence and a wavering American ally, more than ready to leave the poppy fields and come home.  The recent assassination of Karzai’s corrupt brother spoke volumes if we were listening. Afghanistan is a war torn country whose opium trade is 1/3 of it’s GDP and no one is really ready to give up that source of income. According to a report by the CIA only about 28 percent of Afghans over age 15 can read and write, so training them to take care of their own country will be at the very least- slow and challenging.
If the same tactics are applied to Afghanistan, that were applied to Iraq, I think there will be hope that someday there will be a meeting of the minds. People will agree to disagree and find common ground. But I think it’s a long way off.  
Maybe it’s the mother coming out of me to be hopeful. Maybe not.  I’d like to think that I base my ideas on more than emotions and wishes. Maybe we will never know if the cases of Children’s Tylenol made a difference in that country- I know it made a difference in how I looked at my son when in the middle of the war- he worried about someone else more than he worried about himself.