veterans

While I Was Walking…

/ Katie Wigington / Leave a comment
Life is strange sometimes. I could have easily– no, more than easily– it was almost a given–turned out to be a bitter old woman.  I might have been the lovely Miss Haversham, cobwebs and all. Instead, due to some fluke, some twist of fate and perhaps a bump on the head,  I have become more compassionate in my mature years. This surprised me, so I had to do some double checking to make sure I hadn’t turned into a Marin County left wing, hippy dippy who has lost touch with all reality. When the two completely different subjects I wanted to write about converged, I took it as a sign from Buddha or my late mother,  who keeps an eye on things, (okay that’s dippy) that I should sit down and try to explain to everyone what I was thinking about all year long, and why I couldn’t focus their conversations about vacation locations or new TV shows.
 
Cyberbullies and Homeless People
Sometime last year or maybe the year before I made the mistake of starting to read the comment sections on public blogs and newspaper articles.  I was stunned at how vile people could be. Most of whom use an alias but some, so sure that their responses are acceptable behavior, use their real names. Some people are just bullies who would never say anything to anyone’s face, but feel safe doing so in cyberspace. The attacks shocked me and I am not easily shocked… in fact I can be frightfully candid when the situation calls for it… but some of these situations did not call for anything other than compassion. I wanted to write to these publications and blast these bullies for being bullies… but that didn’t seem right either. I knew I couldn’t shame them, so I just sat on it for a while, waiting for the urge (to verbally smack them upside the head and make them see how puny their brains were), to dissipate. I tried not reading the comments, but when the two issues converged, when the hideous comments written were about the one other thing I was feeling passionate about and writing about—well, I had to act.
But, let me digress for just a minute here–I started walking around my little town sometime in April of 2013. First a mile, then two and then three, four, five and six miles some days. Around July 2013, I ran into an old friend, my old roommate from the 70s who I hadn’t seen for over 30 years and we started walking together with our dogs and talking about everything including our shared shock of how people view other peoples misfortunes with such disdain. I realized then, that if I was out of step with the world so was she, so at least there were two of us. My wheels started turning.
It was on my alone walks though, with just my dog, that I started noticing a lot more homeless people than ever before. They were camping out in public instead of the open space areas. Small areas of trees next to shopping centers, or schools or churches, usually near a creek but always near foot traffic. Some of them had carts full of their belongings, some had only backpacks, some had built lean-tos, some looked spaced out, and some looked drunk, some looked crazy; some looked depressed (Who wouldn’t be?). A few had dogs. One lady hung out at the laundry mat in the afternoon until it closed, one guy parked his cart and his collection of I don’t know what  on one of the main streets and greeted everyone that walked by like he was the mayor. Their faces were dirty and wrinkled beyond their ages and most of them were missing some or all of their teeth. Their hair was matted and yes, they smelled bad. I didn’t see one person who could have gone and gotten a job that day. They needed more help than that.
During those first few months of walking, the weather was still warm. I found myself looking for them though, making sure everyone made it through the night. A seed was planting.
While all that was happening, a debate started hitting the town council meetings, the bloggersphere and newspapers about affordable housing. From what I read, the majority of people in Marin County were not pro affordable housing. Some cited valid reasons like high density and traffic and others plain and simple said if you can’t afford to live here you should not live here. Others still, said they didn’t want the riff-raft in their neighborhoods. They didn’t want blacks or Mexicans moving in from other blighted areas (Like Vallejo). Wait a minute I told myself… I can’t afford to live here! I barely get by and I have 2.5 jobs.  I don’t smoke or drink or take vacations. How can these folks ever get back on their feet without some help?
As I watched the debates unfold, I started making mental notes of things that sounded off to me. The issue was three fold or four fold and the information was one fold. My confusion was compounded by the fact that many people I know and respect were coming down on the anti-affordable housing side and I couldn’t figure out why exactly.  I knew two things. 1. Marin has an abundance of homeless people (many people with children) and 2. Marin and the Bay Area in general has an extreme shortage of apartments and homes for rent. (At any price.) The rental market, which I am very familiar with because one of my 2.5 jobs is a licensed Realtor, is off the charts this year. I leased one three-bedroom two-bath home in San Rafael for over $3,200 in one week. Another, in Novato, in less than two weeks.
I started digging for facts. What I found online was not surprising since it backed up what I saw while I was out walking. But, what I saw while walking was worse than reading about it. It was real, it was human. It was inhumane. We care more about homeless animals than people in this county. That’s what I saw. That is what I see every day.

The First Fold:
According to a reportby the Marin Independent Journal, the homeless biennial count in January of 2013 was 933, which was down from the previous years. However, the precariously housed, people that may be facing eviction, or are living in overcrowded homes or couch surfing, numbers have increased to 4,388, up from 4,179 in 2011.  
The report continued. “Diane Linn, director of Ritter Center in San Rafael, which provides services to the homeless and working poor, said that number continues to rise because of economic pressures and a lack of local affordable housing.
We are sorely short of affordable housing options. There are no single-room housing occupancy options,” Linn said. “It’s bad for the working poor out there. It’s getting harder and harder.”
(*Linn is no longer the director. Peter Lee has been the director since 2014)
 The Second Fold: Plan Bay Area, ABAG, and SB375:
Plan Bay Area is a state mandated, long-range housing and transportation plan designed to reduce pollution and greenhouse gasses.
ABAG:  Formed in 1961, the Association of Bay Area Governments is the comprehensive regional planning agency and Council of Governments (COG) for the nine counties and 101 cities and towns of the San Francisco Bay region. ABAG has limited statutory authority and requires major city and county votes for action. The concern of ABAG is long-term growth, big picture, sustainability and conservation.
 
Signed into law by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, SB375 is the Sustainable Communities and Climate Protection Act of 2008; a State of California law targeting greenhouse gas emissions from passenger vehicles.  The Global Warming Solutions Act of 2006 (AB 32) sets goals for the reduction of statewide greenhouse gas emissions. Passenger vehicles are the single largest source of greenhouse gas emissions statewide, accounting for 30% of total emissions. SB 375 therefore provides key support to achieve the goals of AB 32.
The Third Fold -Citizen Marin: Citizen Marin is comprised of the leaders of neighborhood and community groups from throughout Marin County who are wrestling with the demands of the Sustainable Communities Strategies and SB375. They struggle with the concept of overbuilding Marin County with affordable housing like high-density buildings in otherwise single-family home neighborhoods. They cite issues like crime, traffic and simply maintaining “our small town quaintness”. 
Citizens Marin group disagree with the scientific conclusions and contend that the density mandate of 30 units per square acre is too high (20 is acceptable) and that affordable housing (apartment complexes) will increase the crime rate.
I could go on and on here about the debate—but I’m really only interested in the human element of the whole situation. If I have learned nothing else in my 62 years, it’s that you have to care about other human beings. I see homeless people and want to help, but I’m not sure how. I give them money; sometimes I buy blankets and distribute them. I have made sandwiches and brought them to people, but all the little things I do does nothing to answer the greater problem.
To help me understand the greater problems regarding affordable housing I made an appointment to talk to Mary Kay Sweeney, the Executive Director of Homeward Bound of Marin.  Homeward Bound is Marin County’s chief provider of shelter and residential services for homeless families and individuals, serving approximately 1,400 people per year in 14 inter-related residential programs. No one understands homeless and the working poor better than Mary Kay Sweeney and the people that work tirelessly at Homeward Bound of Marin.
Mary Kay Sweeney replied to my email request to meet and was gracious enough to spend more than an hour with me explaining the homeless issue in Marin and answering some of the questions I had regarding affordable housing. Many of my questions were based on citizen responses to online blogs and hearsay information from colleagues. I wanted to confirm my suspicions that some of the facts people were sharing in cyberspace (and over lunches) were complete or partial fabrications.
One of the responses I read on the Novato Patch –replying to an articleon affordable housing was this one by someone who calls himself/herself Bubbasixpack. (I’m sure he/she means beer and not abs)
Bubbasixpack July 09, 2013 at 04:33 PM
There are lot of empty houses in Richmond, but they’re empty because they moved here when invited by the developers who couldn’t fill the places they built in Novato. Fill up the empty housing before we build more. Don’t like where you live? Too bad. Stay in school and out of jail. It worked for me.
I asked Mary Kay – specifically if she was importing people from other cities to fill affordable housing units. She shook her head slowly- adamantly no.  I felt she had heard that question before- and she was weary of it.  “No”, she said, “in fact, it’s the other way around; since there is little or no affordable housing here we sometimes look in neighboring counties for our transitional people.”
Bubba’s comment was one of the milder ones.
I read everything I could get my hands on regarding this issue- but the most important research I did was right on the street. I started putting dollars bills in my fanny pack that I use when walking the dog. As Toshi and I walked around town and ran into homeless people, I started looking them in the eye and saying hi. Just hi. They all wanted to pet Toshi. No one asked me for a dime. A few times, I made sandwiches and delivered them but mostly I just started giving them a buck or two when I could. The most important thing was that I said hello. They were no longer invisible– to me. Or scary. Or crazy. Did they need baths? Yes. Did they need meds? Some did. Would they spend my lousy dollar on cigarettes or booze? Maybe. All of them, every single one of them thanked me and said God bless you. Some told me their story. Some didn’t want to talk but all were polite. All of them pet Toshi and got some Toshi love.
Homelessness is a costly issue. There are multitudes of problems that arise from the homeless people including wild fires started at encampments, defecating and urinating in streams (or in Open Space areas) littering near streams where many of them camp out. Transporting to hospitals due to exposure to weather extremes or overdoses (on an already unhealthy body), hospital expenses, arrests for loitering, illegal camping, etc. I’m not sure but I think there has to be a better way to manage this issue.

You might think that everyone that is homeless is a junkie or drunk or someone who refuses to take their meds—but you would be wrong.  Many people just like you and I are just one or two paychecks away from homelessness. Anyone with a minimum wage job or even slightly above would be in real trouble if they lost a week of work due to illness. Many low-income people work three jobs to stay alive in Marin. If you lose your job and your home, getting into a one-bedroom one-bath apartment in Marin County (providing you have excellent credit) can easily cost 5000.00. In order to afford the least expensive studioin Marin you need to make over $20.00 per hour.
Many argue, why wouldn’t people go where they can afford to live? There are several reasons. Many of Marin’s homeless are from Marin- some from one time affluent families in Tiburon or Ross. They stay because their families are here, and occasionally some help them out, and because they are familiar with the terrain. I can’t imagine being homeless and camping out and having to go to a strange town where I didn’t know the safe places to go.
About 9% of the homeless in Marin County are veterans.  Some suffer from PTSD or TBI. Many suffer from drug and alcohol addiction. I’ve run into to a few of these vets while walking Toshi, when I am wearing my USMC sweatshirt. They always ask me if I was a Marine. No, I tell them. My son is. They tell me then, that they were Navy or Army or they just say Semper Fi and I know the rest. “Thank him for his service,” they say. Then I guiltily thank them for theirs—because clearly, our whole country did not.
As the weather turned bitterly cold, I found myself driving around in the morning and taking inventory of the homeless people I knew. They had their regular spots and if there weren’t where they were supposed to be I worried.  I knew some wouldn’t make it through winter. That was a sad fact.
In this 2013 report on homelessness in Marin County – the statistics are eye opening. In one of the wealthiest counties in the nation—we have a ridiculous number of homeless and almost five times that precariously housed individuals.
I’m not sure when Marin became so full of itself. Marin was originally inhabited by the Miwok Indians and built on the backs of ranchers, fishermen and blue-collar workers. In the early 1900s, Tiburon, one of this country’s wealthiest cities, was a blue-collar railroad town, with cargo trains running daily. The wealthy people that did live here were largely philanthropic and donated to a variety of causes without fanfare. Most of us that grew up here, most, not at all wealthy, but some who grew up in wealthy families too, find this snobbery and lack of compassion disgusting.
I certainly don’t have all the answers. I do believe if there were more people like Mary Kay Sweeny of Homeward Bound in the world, that this problem could be solved tout de suite. She seems to have compassion, ability to solve problems and implement processes for long-term success. Why city leaders across Marin wouldn’t want to help her expand or copy her methodology (without quid pro quo) I don’t know. Politicians it appears are only in it for their votes and don’t really care about anyone who isn’t making it to the polls.
I can’t do anything about the bullies. They are stupid. They are not worth my time. The only thing I can do because I am not a millionaire, is help the organizations that actually are doing something, by either spreading the truth about homelessness thereby changing the way some people think of the homeless or donating my time and money to places like Homeward Bound or Ritter House and teaming with other organizations that raise money for homeless veterans. Some people want to stay angry, I won’t waste my time on them.  
Across the nation, there are homeless people who need help and across the nation, there are not enough facilities to help them. Every year- every damn year, we find homeless people frozen to death or somehow killed by the elements. It seems like a no-brainer to me. If it’s fear it could be you… all the more reason to do something. I don’t know where the anger towards these folks comes from. Oh yeah… your tax dollars. Well- in that case remember the veterans… the ones we owe EVERYTHING to. Remember the sweat of all the underpaid workers in the country that keep food on your table, watch your kids, clean your houses, change your oil, rotate your tires, cut your lawns, make your fast food, work at your favorite retail outlet, or work at any one of a million restaurants or bars you frequent. Because when they lose their jobs, (or even lose work due to illness), they are in jeopardy of losing their homes.
I’m still walking. I’m still handing out dollars or sandwiches and in the winter I’ll go to Goodwill and other places and buy blankets to give away. It’s not enough. People have to care or this problem will not go away.
 
Helpful Links:
HOMEWARD BOUND OF MARIN
RITTER CENTER
NATIONAL CALL CENTER HOMELESS VETERANS
NATIONAL ALLIANCE TO END HOMELESSNESS

PTSD AWARENESS DAY

/ Katie Wigington / 1 Comment

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I’m not sure why we have to have specific days, weeks or months of the year to raise awareness on any number of issues that we should all be aware of all the time. I’m declaring today the day we recognize combat related PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), and tomorrow too. And every day after that.
Combat PTSD has been front and center in the news for months. Maybe some people didn’t realize it though since not everyone calls a spade a shovel, like I do.
My awareness of combat related PTSD started long before it would personally affect me. Long before it was called PTSD. When I was about 10 years old, my mother told me that my favorite Great Uncle would “Never be the same after Iwo Jima.”  He never was.
Later, much later and shortly before his death at 89, he told me about piling the dead bodies and body parts and collecting their dog tags. He said he would never forget the carnage. There was no good war, he said.
Sixty –eight years after Iwo Jima (almost to the day) people are still in denial about Soldiers Heart, Shell Shock, Combat Fatigue, Post-Vietnam Syndrome and finally PTSD. It’s all the same – all these different names for the same thing.
The people in denial are the masses of Americans who may or may not read the news every day and for whatever reason are unable to connect the dots, the dots that are sometimes so blatant, so bright red, so screamingly apparent that I don’t know how anyone can miss them.  (I’m only talking about the US here- even though other countries have the same thing- some to such a degree the country as a whole may suffer.)
There are some military families that are in denial too. They think if their returning soldier or Marine just gets a job, just gets married, just has kids, just stops drinking, just comes out of their room, just acts normal, that everything will be fine. This is a stupid assumption and wishful thinking.
The more likely scenario is that these soldiers, sailors and Marines will come home from combat and try to assimilate but will not be able to relate to people who have not seen what they have seen nor done what they have had to do. They will drink too much, some will take medication (legal and illegal) some will take risks that no sane person would take, some will become sex addicts, some will become depressed and isolate, some will be angry, some will commit crimes and some will commit suicide. In fact, according to the US Department of Veterans Affairs, twenty–two veterans commit suicide a day. That is roughly one per 1.09 hours. Are you okay with that? I’m not.
Right now, there are approximately 21.5 Million Veterans in the United States. An estimated 62,619 are homeless. (I think that is a low estimate). The number of Veterans suffering from PTSD is almost impossible to figure since so often is it unreported and untreated and the Department of Veteran Affairs tracks it by conflict. Almost 50% of Vietnam vets suffered from PTSD. (They also had half the country hating them when they returned)  The Department of Veterans Affairs has quietly released a new report on post-traumatic stress disorder, showing that since 9/11, nearly 30 percent of the 834,463Iraq and Afghanistan War veterans treated at V.A. hospitals and clinics have been diagnosed with PTSD. (I would imagine the unreported would bring it up to 50%)
Now, you may wonder why I think you should be aware of these alarming numbers.  This is why. They need our help. They need understanding- and we have to educate ourselves so we don’t make the same mistakes the generation before us did with the Vietnam vets. The men and women coming home with PTSD are not feeling the love from their fellow Americans and in some cases they feel like their branch of service has used them up and then thrown them away. Sometimes it takes years for them to be able to work in the civilian world. Some may never get there. Some are so broken down they can barely function and need caregivers to make sure they get up, get dressed, eat and go to the VA.
We are talking about 22 year olds, 25 year olds, 30-year-old men, and women who may look twice their age due the overwhelming load they carry.  We – and by we I mean every single American, should be helping them carry the load.
The murder of Chris Kyle was a horrendous event and in my mind brought to the forefront how horrible PTSD can be… if we don’t learn to recognize it and deal with it as a by product of war. Plan on it, budget for it, have the medical facilities and faculty ready for it and most importantly, make it easier for these people to get the help they need.  Eddie Ray Routh had recently been released from the hospital- his parents pleas to the psychiatric hospital to keep him, fell on deaf ears. I have to wonder why? Was it money?
Most PTSD is not going to elevate to a murderous level, and maybe anger is not always part of combat PTSD, but it is often enough. The following are just some of the symptoms of combat related PTSD.
  • Irritability/ anger
  • Sleep difficulties and constant fatigue
  • Difficulty concentrating, remembering, thinking, making decisions
  • Depression
  • Guilt over killing a combatant or civilian
  • Guilt over the death or injury of a fellow warrior (survivors guilt)
  • Anxiety
  • Exaggerated startle response
  • Withdrawal from social activities and friends
  • An increase in accidents
  • An increase in taking unnecessary risks
  • Physical complaints (chronic pain)  and medical illness or fear of medical illness
  • A significant increase in the use of alcohol and other substances
  • Domestic violence
  • Misconduct issues or reprimands
The Soldiers, Marines, Airmen, and Sailors-  who volunteered to go into the service post 911 knew they could die. Of course, an 18 year old doesn’t really know what will happen to him if he lives to tell the story. In fact- few people will know what will happen. Parents themselves focus on one thing. Stay Alive. When they get home mom counts fingers and toes just like the day they were born. No visible damage and yay- everything is going to be fine.
For many of them, everything will be okay. For some, symptoms will not present for years. For others, the onset will be almost immediate- some before they are separated from the service.
The military has to do a better job. I was hopeful when General Shinseki the US Secretary of Veteran Affairs, was appointed to his position. Since that time, over four years ago, I have seen little progress in the area of combat related PTSD and the process that defeats many veterans 10 minutes after they walk through the VA doors.
There are civilians doing the job though. One such civilian is Dr.Bridget Cantrell. Dr. Cantrell is the founder of Hearts Toward Home International, which is a non profit organization dedicated to helping combat veterans and their family members. 
I first met Dr. Cantrell in 2006 at a Marines Parents Conference in Houston, Texas. My son, a Marine Corps Rifleman at the time, was getting ready to deploy to Iraq. Dr. Cantrell and her writing partner Chuck Dean, (a Vietnam vet) had just written Down Range, to Iraq and Back, A book that addresses PTSD our military personnel experience when returning from combat. After attending the panel discussion, I knew PTSD was something I had to fully understand. 
Since that time, Dr. Cantrell has helped me- help my son. She has written 3 more books Once a Warrior, Wired for Life, (with Chuck Dean)  Souls Under Siege: The Effects of Multiple Troop Deployments-and How to Weather the Storm and a workbook that accompanies Once a Warrior, and has two more coming out shortly.She devotes her life to helping these veterans.
There are other civilians doing their best to make a difference for our veterans. And together we can all make a difference.  First, though there has to be awareness, there has to be significant comprehension of what combat related PTSD is and what we as civilians can do to help. Removing the stigma is one way to help these men and women get the professional  help they need.
Let’s not wait for the PTSD Awareness Day (I think it’s sometime in June) . Let’s not wait until another Soldier, Sailor, Airmen or Marine hurts someone or commits suicide. Let’s start today. Spread the word-tell, let your Representativesand Senators  that you want to see some help for our veterans. If you can, donate or volunteer your time to the organizations that make a difference in the lives of these men and women.
And if you notice someone needing help, call the VA Hotline at  1-800-273-8255 Press 1
They fought for us- and now we need to fight for them.
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Additional resources from (USC) University of Southern California –

Military Mental Health Resource Guide to Depression, TBI & PTSD

And if you are interested in a career in  Military Social Work

MSW@USC

 

This is my Marine (who joined the USMC in 2003 the minute he turned 18) in a house in Iraq. Those are pictures of the Twin Towers on both sides of the mirror in the background. He wasn’t there to make money, or see the world, or get his college paid for. He was there because he thought he could make a difference. I think he did, and I can only repay him by making sure he and his brothers-in-arms, are taken care of. 
  
 

A Hero You Won’t Hear About

/ Katie Wigington / 1 Comment
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Anyone can have PTSD, it’s not just a military issue. But combat veterans are suffering from PTSD at alarming numbers and there are simply not enough resources to help them- if indeed they are able to ask for help at all.
Dr.Linnerooth (on right) enjoying a cigar break.
Almost two weeks ago, the world lost another veteran to suicide. But he wasn’t just any veteran. He was a mental health professional who helped thousands of active duty and veterans make it to the next day. His first duty was to keep the troops from committing suicide.  Dr. Peter Linnerooth, a Bronze Star winning psychologist, a true hero, lost his battle with PTSD and took his own life five years after his active duty service to the Army.
The time he spent in Iraq was at the height of the war when the bloodiest battles took place and as an active duty member of the Army and a health professional, he would pitch in during mass causality events. It’s no wonder some of these events haunted him. Witnessing carnage of that magnitude would have an effect on the most grizzled warriors- let alone a lifesaver.
When Linnerooth returned to civilian life, he continued his work at Veterans Administration hospitals. First at the Santa Cruz County Vet Center in Capitola, then the Reno, Nevada Veterans Administration. He helped veterans suffering with mental health issues even while fighting his own demons.  
Dr. Linnerooth was extremely frustrated by the lack of  concern by the Army. A 2010 article titled Invisible Wounds: Mental Health and the Military, Time Magazine, quoted Dr. Linnerooth. “The Army has been criminally negligent,” says Captain Peter Linnerooth, an Army psychologist for nearly five years until 2008, who notes that the service has had a difficult time finding psychiatrists to care for combat vets, which puts even more pressure–“and way too much burnout”–on those who stay.

We owe our active duty troops and our veterans more than this. Through November of this year, 177 active-duty soldiers had committed suicide compared to 165 during all of 2011 and 156 in 2010. In all of 2012, 176 soldiers were killed in action, all while serving in Operation Enduring Freedom, according to DOD.
These numbers are not going to get better. If the war(s) end tomorrow we will still have 21.8 million veterans – many of whom are homeless, jobless and some in dire need of mental health care. Even veterans that are seemingly doing well may be struggling with PTSD and trying to hide it. The military mindset makes it extremely difficult if not impossible to express a need for help. 

I have heard people say (stupidly) that WW2 Veterans just pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and carried on… but I can assure you that is not quite the way it was. My own Great Uncle helped pick up the bodies and body parts of Marines on Iwo Jima and into his 90’s and until his death at 91, shook when any war was mentioned. They suffered in silence, but they suffered greatly- and still to this day have flashbacks and nightmares.  According to one study, “The suicide rate among these (WW2) veterans is roughly double the rate of veterans under 35, those who are returning home from Iraq and Afghanistan.” 
Since my own son returned from Iraq, in 2007, I have tried to raise the awareness of Combat PTSD. Like most things – unless it affects you personally PTSD is not something people are interested in. Many of the people with little or no interest in this matter will be out on the July 4th, in the parade, or on the sidelines, waving their flags, drinking their beers or pink lemonade and having a good time. So please remember when you are there, we are celebrating on the backs of these fine men and women who have sacrificed their lives, their limbs and in many cases their mental health for the sake of our country.
Try not to make assumptions about the homeless vet living under the bridge and drinking himself to death. A slow suicide is still a suicide and these men and women are everyone’s responsibility- we owe it to them to help- at the very least- we owe them some compassion and a huge thank you for their sacrifice.

If you are a veteran and thinking about suicide I beg you to check out this site and call the Suicide Hotline. You will be talking to people who understand your pain.

If you know someone that is suffering from combat related PTSD and would like to help them or understand what they are going through, I urge you to visit this website: Hearts Toward Home
Dr. Cantrell has helped thousands of active duty, veterans and their families work through their PTSD and related issues.  In my book, she is a hero too.

Don’t Waste It- Memorial Day 2017

/ Katie Wigington / Leave a comment

The lives lost in my son’s unit 2006-7 Iraq 

In memory of all who gave their lives for their country. This is a republished blog from 2012. Sad to say –things have not changed at all. A lot people will have fun this Memorial Day and not give a second thought to how that fun was made possible. Fun is great- I support it- but please remember the folks that can’t celebrate a day because they gave their lives so you could. KW 2017.

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All week I have been thinking about what I would write about for Memorial Day. I’ve been told I come off preachy sometimes, but really I know most of the people who read my blog and I fully understand I would be preaching to the choir if I were preaching about this day. The one theme that kept coming back to me regarding Memorial Day, was the theme that came from the movie “Saving Private Ryan” when Tom Hanks was dying and he looked at Matt Daman and said, “Don’t waste it.”
Don’t waste it. Don’t waste your life and don’t squander your freedom. I take that to mean don’t be a lemming. Make a difference. Think about the world and not just your little corner of it. I strive to do this. I have taught myself to be more tolerant- though I don’t always succeed. We always want people to be just like us, think just like us- and yet the world is so big that could never be possible. And that freedom, we are so privileged to have in this great country, is often taken for granted and stomped on by many of us trying to make everyone fit into our groove.
Memorial Day is supposed to be about the troops killed in action. It’s not really supposed to be about thanking all our Veteran’s. But in my thinking, the best way to honor those who have died is to honor those who have lived and help them give their lives new meaning.
A few weeks ago, I wrote about the plight of many veterans suffering from PTS and TBI and about their inability to find jobs that can accommodate their disabilities. Some of them can’t work at all. Many Iraq and Afghanistan veteran’s are homeless, drug and alcohol dependent and many more are suicidal. Many of them found maneuvering the VA so difficult they just gave up and receive no medical care at all.
I’m not sure which part of this people are not understanding. While political factions argue with each other over which is the best party, while they call each other names, spread rumors with zeal, and batter each other in advertisements, our veterans are dying.
In an article written late last year Paul Rieckoff , executive director of the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America said, “The suicide rate is out of control – it’s epidemic proportions right now. There are very few programs that are effective, and there’s a serious lack of national awareness.”
Read more here: VETERAN SUICIDE EPIDEMIC
A serious lack of National awareness. Still a million people will write about today and they will write about Veteran’s Day later, and people will wave their flags and argue about their right to choose, their right to pray, their right to eat fat, their right to grow pot, their right to raise their kids however they want, their right to be FREE.
Many of our veterans are not free. Some with visible scars and some without, they are shackled to their nightmares. They are buried with their friends who came home in coffins. They walk on tightrope; barely able to balance they hang on for life that is no longer dear.
Those of us that understand all this owe it to these men and women, the walking wounded, to wake the Nation up. We owe it to them to have intelligent conversations that are not politically biased, but about them alone. We owe it to them to stop blaming politicians for something WE can change if we unite in our message that our veteran’s needs must come before one more war, one more special interest, and one more barrel of oil, one more study of frog sex, one more dime spent on any frivolous bull shit thing.
After 11 years of constant war, almost every single person I know has known someone that either has been in the war or been deeply affected somehow. Everyone I talk to has had a son, daughter, sister, brother, nephew, cousin or friend serve in one of the two last wars.
A staggering 45 percent of the 1.6 million veterans from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are now seeking compensation for injuries they say are service-related. That is more than double the estimate of 21 percent who filed such claims after some other relatively recent wars, top government officials told The Associated Press.
I have not backed off my campaign to raise awareness. If I am preaching – so be it. I don’t know any other way to get the word out. I’m shooting from the hip like I always do. I’m hoping you will share this Memorial Day message with your friends and family. I’m hoping it will make its way to people who want to make things better for our veterans. 1.6 million veterans need our help.
Don’t waste it. If you don’t know the meaning of life- give your own life meaning. Leave this world a better place by repaying the greatest gift given to most of us and earned by so few. The gift of freedom.
Things can change. If you have even a smidgen of the bravery some of the men and women who sacrificed their lives for our freedoms have, you can help make a difference. Speak up for them, don’t just wave your flags and shout out America the Beautiful, or the Pledge of Allegiance. We owe them – don’t you think?

He is America’s Son

/ Katie Wigington / 11 Comments

Sgt. Bales
It’s time to pick our jaws up off the ground. Stop being so shocked that our active duty troops are falling apart and find a way to help them.  
This last week when the news came out about Sgt. Bales, the soldier accused of killing 17 Afghan civilians, (many of them children, and for no apparent reason) sent shock waves around the world. But I was not that surprised. Sickened and saddened- but not surprised.
The first thing I did was go to my facebook page to see what my fellow Marine parents had to say about this. Oddly enough- they were mostly silent save for a few that were immediately fearful for the lives of the troops having to deal with justifiably angry Afghans in the aftermath.  I thought to myself- maybe they all know in their hearts- this could be one of our kids. What could we say?  How should we feel?
I admit my perspective is skewed after all these years as a Marine Mom. After reading thousands and thousands of news articles regarding the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, after receiving 5000 plus US troop death notifications from the DOD in my in box- and after reading everything  ever written about PTSD- yes my perspective is probably not like most peoples.
I work and live in ultra-liberal anti war Marin County. I try not to discuss issues of war with anyone. To me it is personal, war is personal it’s not a theory or a political stance- it’s what my son and his friends have experienced up close and in person. It’s what all my fellow Marine families, and Army families have experienced.  I am very war weary myself. I am not a gung-ho war monger. (I don’t know any mom that is)  I would like nothing better than to see us out of these Arab wars for once and all- but I would like to see us end it without destroying what good we have done and without destroying the sense of duty that our troops have felt over the last 11 years. Without creating more “Vietnam” style vets- that came home to hostile territory, that were told they fought a war that was pointless- that were told they lost arms, legs, eyes, hearing and moral bearing for nothing. There are vet’s that spent years trying to recover and many never did- they still live under bridges, in the woods, on the streets, trapped in crazyville and unable to deal with the world, such as it is, today. No, I don’t want to see that happen again.  It already is though. On any given night- according to the VA and the Departments of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) they estimate that over 67,000 veterans are homeless. HOW does this happen? WHY are we not taking care of these men and women?
I’m not defending Sgt. Bales actions, but I’m not condemning him either. I think he snapped. I think he saw too many of his friends get blown up and shot up. These are pictures that will NEVER leave his brain. I think he felt a certain amount of survivors guilt and I think he lost all ability to figure out how to fix his unraveling life both in the Army and at home in the US. Like any of us might- (and so few of us can even imagine his world) in an untenable situation, trapped in a hostile, remote part of the world- he snapped.  
I just have to stop for a minute- every time I read an incendiary report about this and try to understand that most people feel there is no reasoning behind the actions Sgt. Bales took. I do understand their anger, I am angry too. My anger is directed towards the people don’t care about our troops who are deployed 15 months (Army) and some many as 5 COMBAT deployments in 5 years (Marines) and my anger is directed  towards the people who constantly say stupid things like “Well, he signed up for this right?”
In the last few years, I have made a concentrated effort to back away from all things Marine Corps, all things war related. I had to for the sake of my own mental health. But my support of our troops and our veterans has never waivered. It never will. I purposely don’t write about these issues because it usually starts some sort of riot. But riot be damned- people need to wake up and understand the facts before they go off on their crusades.
If I were Sgt. Bales mother, I would love him just as much today as the day he was born. Maybe more. And so that is how I think I prefer to think of Sgt Bales. Not as a monster that killed 17 people in cold blood- but as a son who is sick and needs help. He is her son, and he is America’s son. I hope he gets the help he needs.
Side note: I do understand that Afghanistan has been under siege for so many years most of her citizens don’t remember peacetime. I have no doubt they are war weary- and suffer from extreme PTSD. Some of them hate us and some of them tolerate us. Few of them love us. This incident has done severe harm to the tenuous relationship between the allied forces, the US and Afghanistan and we need to be on high alert for retaliation. I’m fairly certain “we” will never be forgiven for the crime against these families. Having said that- I hope we don’t hang Sgt Bales to prove a point to the Afghans’ that we are sincere in our apology. We need to be loyal to our own first.

We need to make it clear to the President of the United States- that it is not okay to treat these hideous incidents as anything other than a horrible case of PTSD and/or TBI or at best temporary insanity. We need to get the word out to as many people as possible that the way our troops and vets are being treated is not acceptable. We need to demand they get the treatment they need. The United States government owes its thanks and protection to these men and women that have sacrificed their lives, limbs and in many cases their very souls to fight terrorism and protect the freedoms we have in the United States. It’s up to us to get the word out- do not use Sgt. Bales as a human sacrifice to win some points with the Arab world.