war

Happy New Year 2016– Finally

/ Katie Wigington / Leave a comment

I was all ready to write this great New Year’s blog. I usually write in my head for a couple of days before I commit to paper so I was ready to dazzle everyone with my profundity. I was going to write about how not to drag all the crap of the last year into the new year. How to just take the good stuff and leave the rest. How to turn grief into sorrow and ultimately into sorrow lite. How to let go of anger and don’t even think about revenge—such a fool’s game.

I wanted to write about how important forgiveness is, and that in order to have a heart at peace you must forgive and mean it. I was ready to admit that my dislike (ok, hate) of Donald Trump and the rest of those Bozo’s in the GOP have made me somewhat bitter in the last few months but I have tried- I mean with all my heart, to keep an open mind and try to understand Freedom means different things to different people. But…
I keep reading about the Syrian refugees, the people I was saying we should help three years ago, and seeing comments that exude hatred beyond my comprehension. Really, I could not hate that much. I guess I always try to put myself in other people’s shoes. Or I try to figure out how they got the way they are. I wanted to write about that and say- stop it. Just stop being mean.  
How to make a monster? Beat a child, starve a child of love, of food, of clothing or a place to live or a place to even poop. Let them see their mother raped, and their father blown up and their siblings beaten into submission. Fill his head with shit until it explodes.  (And takes a few people with him.) The kids of the middle east have dealt with all of the above. Not just Syria, but Iraq, Afghanistan, Africa, Palestine – anywhere there is poverty, there are people there to take advantage of it. There will be more terrorist– because the root cause is not being addressed. And hey people– the root cause is not Islam.
So for anyone that does not understand that—let me assure you – we have been making monsters in the Middle East and a few here too. There is a reason why ISIL targets poor blacks looking for recruits. Who in this country is more susceptible than poor people, with not enough food, living in overcrowded project housing, with rats for household pets. If I were looking for recruits that were already angry—I’d look in the segregated (yeah it really is segregated) parts of the country where education is almost nonexistent, where drugs are more available than food, where families have been torn apart by guns and drugs and poverty.
And then mental illness. What some call evil. Back in the old days – the 1960s for my mom, mental illness was treated with shock therapy that fried your brain and left you vegetable. Oops, sorry about that, you’re not crazy or evil after all, it’s just menopause.
All these mentally ill people that shot up movie theaters and shopping centers and schools—all sick. And sure it’s hard to have compassion for the people that cause so much death and destruction, but do people hear themselves? The comments online are actually crazier than the person that caused them.
“We” didn’t make them you say? Well you’re wrong. We most certainly did. We made them here and we made them in the Middle East too. Because we chose to spend trillions on wars instead of helping people. We chose oil. We decided to take a generation of troops and ruin many of their lives for oil, for greed and our complete inability to understand Islamic countries.  
We chose to not spend money researching mental illness and preventing it. We chose to see mental illness as an evil apparition instead of a brain malfunction or undetected injury. We chose to see it as something we should pray about because that works. Ridiculous.
We choose to elect officials who are led by their pocket books and only think what people with money (the NRA, Koch Brothers) tell them to think.
For Example: Totally misinterpreting the 2ndAmendment, and blowing by the word MILITIA and what that is exactly.
noun: militia; plural noun: militias

 

1.       a military force that is raised from the civil population to supplement a regular army in an emergency.

 

2.       a military force that engages in rebel or terrorist activities, typically in opposition to a regular army.

 

3.       all able-bodied civilians eligible by law for military service.

 

So take a look at these graphs I stole from CNN. Interesting right? – no wait. The word is embarrassing.

 

 

And then there is Trump who, if elected, would have us all nuked in about 20 minutes. His friend Putin might do the job, or maybe China, or Pakistan or our little, very mentally ill buddy in North Korea.
I wanted to write about all that. Maybe offer a few answers, or quote Mother Teresa or Walt Disney. “It’s a Small World After All.”  
But let me take a deep breath here.
Because yesterday I got a text from my grandson’s mom that he was in the hospital. He’s got a virus, he’ll be fine. But it was a big smack in the head for me. It immediately changed my perspective from the now—to the future. I really want to leave this world better for him. I don’t think I can blog my way there. I don’t know how to leave him a world without war or gunslingers or torture or famine or air to breathe. I want him to be able to grow up in a world that accepts single moms without condemnation,  that excepts gay and trans people. I don’t want him to be afraid of people that don’t look like him. I want him to have the best health care, the best schools and have it all without being told it’s a burden on his family or his country. I want him to not know the kind of fear that terrorism provokes.
I can write about it and I can vote. But there should be more.
I guess I’ll figure it out. Whatever it is I’m supposed to be doing, I always do.
Happy PEACEFUL New Year

There Are No Winners

/ Katie Wigington / Leave a comment

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Buddha said,  “Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love”. I can attest to that.

I was explaining to someone the other night, how it was that Nick’s father and I went from World War III to best friends. Well maybe not best friends- but certainly two people who were there for each other when needed.
Our hate ran deep, both of us vying for the love of a little boy. A boy, who was always his own little person, with his chameleon- like demeanor for the parent whose hand he held on any particular day. A boy, who always had a smile for everyone, until it turned to a frown and then later a grimace.  
I hated my son’s dad so much that I once picked poison mushrooms from my yard and planned his last meal, his favorite of course. A friend convinced me it would not be wise and assured me my son would not forgive me if he ever found out and he would find out.  I’m sure my son’s father had numerous conversations with people about my demise. Too bad for him—I was the one with connections.  
One day, after our war, and then our cold war, he sat in my kitchen and declared. “I don’t hate you anymore.”
I laughed at him and told him I didn’t hate him either, even though sometimes I still did. He was being magnanimous because he thought he was the winner. It was before we found out there are no winners.
Neville Chamberlain said, “In war whichever side may call itself victor. There are no winners. But all are losers.”
I understand this now. I think my son understood this when he was in Iraq. Or, maybe when he was ducking verbal bullets from his parents mouths.  I remember my letters from my son when he was in Iraq. He was there to do a job, but he didn’t attach hate to it. He didn’t hate all Iraqi’s or all Muslim. When I asked him what he needed in his care packages, he asked me for things that would help the Iraqi people, especially the kids. I wondered if he felt some camaraderie towards them?  They were stuck in the middle of a war, liking Americans because they brought toys and medicine, hating Americans because they blew up their homes. Just like divorce. Smiling for their photographs. Smiling for whoever held their hand on any particular day. 
Maybe the war at home gave my son a better perspective on the war in Iraq. Then at least something good would have come from it.
Last week my sister and I went to see my son where he works. As we sat at our table eating our sushi, I remarked that I miss his dad. “Do you?” She asked, astonished.
My eyes started to well with tears and I replied, “Yes, I do.” Then my son appeared over my right shoulder. “Hello Mother.” He said. For a second, I thought, maybe his dad nudged him from Nirvana. Go bail your mom out.  But, noI thought, he would like that I miss him, he would let this go on a little longer. 
People who don’t know me very well, which is just about everyone—may not believe in my capacity to forgive. I know now, that forgiving is the only way to move on. Being mired in hate and ill will towards anyone is not who I want to be. I’m not saying I can’t feel anger, because I can and do. My temper is quick and sometimes violent, my mouth volcanic venom if you cross me or mine. If you hurt a child or an animal, I will come down on you like a mountain of crazy and you will be sorry. But, I can forgive.
What I don’t understand is how can this country ever move forward if it stays in hate mode all the time. The left hates the right, the right hates the left; the gun reform people hate the guns for everyone people; people hate immigrants, Muslims, Christians, Catholics, Jews, Blacks, Mexicans, and vegetarians. People are full of hate.
My son’s father and I found out there are no winners when our son joined the Marine Corps. We both lost custody. He was always his own person—and we lost sight of that on numerous occasions. We put our own wants and needs before his because we were blind with our hate instead of enlightened with our love.
I think towards the end, the one we didn’t know was coming, we both saw that was not the answer. I wished him a Happy New Year seven days before he died.  “Thank you!” He said. “Happy New Year to you too!”

I’m Glad I’m not Voting Today

/ Katie Wigington / Leave a comment
I’ve been sitting on my hands for a couple of weeks now- trying so hard to not say anything about the political chaos going on. I just took a walk and tried to think of something else I could write about that might be of interest to someone- anyone.

All week long one sentence kept going through my head though. And this is what it was:
If I were President Obama, I would be dancing a jig right now.
Honestly, I don’t know where I stand in the political turmoil. I’m observing- and sharing my observations with you. I don’t vote party line because I don’t agree with either side 100%. So I vote for the person. I look for someone with the qualities that I find attractive in any human being. Intelligence, compassion, fairness, honesty (forthrightness), and a sense of humor. The later being important in the balance of all things grave and important- you do have to know when to laugh. I apply the same criteria to picking my friends.
I am not interested in religious doctrine when it comes to running this country. I do not care what religion anyone is as long as it does not interfere with affairs of state or as long as they don’t impose their views on me. I remember the controversy surrounding John Kennedy as the first Roman Catholic. He was a “damn Catholic”. I do not recall- and maybe because I was young, but I don’t recall in any history I have read, him ever making decisions based on his religion. It would stand to reason since he was a practicing Catholic, that he was pro-life, which means he couldn’t be elected as a Democrat today. But Pro Life and Pro Choice was not an issue in the 60’s. Illegal abortions were the rage back then. Death by rusty coat hanger was the solution to the problem of pregnancy.
I would like to see us not become involved in any more wars that are none of our business. YES- I know there is a global war on terrorism. (That is like a world war only sneakier) I know our country needs oil or we will become a 3rd world country in the dark, tuit de’suite. So I am willing to try a little diplomacy. A little psychology.
Many of the world’s leaders are nut jobs. The Arab Spring cleaned up some of it- but there is much more to go. North Korea, Iran and Syria are the most pressing at this moment in time. Many African nations are lurking in the nut trees too. We cannot take our eyes off of any of them. Not for a minute.
I remember when President Obama was running for President and he said, “We’re going to change the way we do things in Washington.” (DC). I actually did laugh out loud. I remember saying to whoever was in the room at the time-( maybe it was the dogs-) that he was in for a big surprise.
All candidates from all parties make promises they can’t keep- because all candidates are not privy to all the facts. They think they are- but they are not. And we sure aren’t either.
That was why after President Obama was elected- his plan for getting our butts out of Iraq changed slightly. Then much to the surprise of many, including me, he took an aggressive stance in Afghanistan- (which most American’s had forgotten about) and ramped up the troops. Because he knew more then he did before he was elected. It’s one of the perks of being President.
President Obama inherited a huge mess of a country. Everything was in the fiscal toilet. The housing market was a disaster and we were in or within a minute of being in a recession. I don’t think the President has the power to magically fix the mess he was handed. And I don’t think President Bush was the soul person responsible for the mess either.
The turn around has been painfully slow, but finally this week the economist’s have had some good news for us- and President Obama. Things are starting to go in a positive direction again. That is not why I think President Obama should be doing a jig. No- the reason I think he should be doing a jig is because the GOP has not produced a viable candidate – at least for me. I know a lot of Republican’s that are saying they have not decided yet- or flat out, they don’t like any of them. It will be interesting to watch this race.
And while many of the people that voted for Obama have been disappointed because he didn’t act fast enough, or changed his mind, armed with new information- still I doubt many staunch Democrats will be voting Republican.  Maybe- if they are like me- and vote for the man or woman and not the party some Democrats will cross over and visa versa.  The political gulf is widening though.
Bipartisan is a dirty word right now. I would personally like to see the politicians grow up and start figuring out where to compromise – because Congress is a joke if they can’t get anything passed- and that alone forces any President to make Executive Orders or *recess confirmations. The founding fathers made sure you could not keep the decisions of the country at a standstill. (*The question of the legality of the appointment will undoubtedly go to court- I am guessing that they will find it legal.)
I’m trying to convince myself my vote matters. I’m trying to figure out if I want health insurance for my preexisting conditions or not. I’m trying to figure out if I will have to live in a world full of bigots and people that think God is only for Christian’s and Americans.  I’m trying to figure out what will happen to the fragile economy if we make the wrong decision. I’m trying to figure out how many more troops – how many more mother’s sons or daughters will have to be killed in tribal wars that have gone on since the beginning of time and will likely continue long after we bring our troops home. (Yet I would be willing to go fight for the rights of women in those countries.) I’m trying to figure out if the economy will turn around or will I actually have to work till the day I drop dead.  I have no money so I’m not really worried about taxes right now.I am worried about civil rights, gay rights, and human rights.
I have more questions than answers. I want a hybrid candidate. One that offers solutions instead of insults and one that has the capacity to communicate with world leaders with respect where due- and be able to act swiftly, with might when necessary. I want a candidate that will respect the civil rights of Americans and the human rights of Americans and everyone else.
Maybe that is too much to ask of any human being.