This is for you bad moms.

You know who you are.  The ones that sleep in every now and then, and forget to feed the kids (who could feed themselves but don’t because they are so used to you doing it.) The moms that get an occasional babysitter to go party with the girls, or the moms who don’t iron, make beds daily or read to the kids at night after a 9-hour shift somewhere doing something hard or shitty or both. The moms who have dug dirty clothes out of the pile so the kids would have clothes for school. The moms who worry incessantly and hover- yeah you! The moms who eat the last school snacks (for dinner) and give the kids a carrot for snack. And you moms that trick your kids into doing stuff like empty a garbage … you are the worst! Oh, wait maybe the lying mom who promises to not eat the churro and then does… (that is me) also the worst. 

Being a bad mom gets so much easier as they age. The snooping mom, (he is acting weird)  the diary reader, (she’s up to something )  the piggy bank thief, ( for groceries I swear!) all these are despicable acts, shame on you moms.

And you moms who call the hospital, the CHP, and every friend of their offspring they know of, 15 minutes after curfew, how embarrassing are you?

You moms who try to cut the cord a bit at 18. HA! Real nice. You moms that snoop all over Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok, trying to find out what your kid is up to–let it go – that is bad mom stuff!  (don’t worry they have one identity for you and another for friends.)

And you moms, who insist on trying to help or guide or bail out or finance your older children … good lord. That is so bad!

You moms who honestly tell your kids when they look like crap, or need a shower, or a haircut or a toothbrush… my God what must those poor kids suffer to live with you. Can’t you just be nice?

Who knew so many of us would grow up to be bad parents?  I remember thinking I’ll do better than my mom, (who had me tell a lie to sister Mary Patrick on my First Holy Communion because she overslept!). I’m not better. Possibly worse.

You Moms…

Have a Happy Mother’s Day!

In memory of my less-than-perfect mom, Beverly Arietta